A comment left on The Brick, Part 2:

Isn’t this is a grand pity party – what I have to say is not what you want to hear.

There is a definitely a lot of shock value in a highly intelligent and educated woman saying, writing, and thinking “fuck” a lot. That’s what the Universe is hearing, reading, and believing about you, and that’s what the Universe is giving you. Its the Law of Attraction at work – what you focus on tends to increase – what you give is what you get. Is that how you really who you want to be? Is that how you really deal with your kids? Is that how you coo to your baby? Regards

You know, there is a very, very fine line between appearing defensive and offering an explanation for your own opinion.

So please, bear with me as I undertake a very diplomatic, very nuanced, very measured approach to this post and my associated non-defensive feelings to the aforesaid comment.

So to begin with: FUCK THAT.

Told ya it was going to be measured and diplomatic.

Here’s the deal: I have a long and storied relationship with The Secret (in caps, of course), or the Law of Attraction (copyright-trademark-all-rights-reserved-and-whatnot). Please click here and here if you’re interested in a few of my posts referencing that very concept.

In summary: I think it’s bullshit.

cup_smirkBut the bullshittiness of The Secret, in my opinion, is the completely narrow-minded way some people (ahem: I’m referring to you, dear commenter) choose to understand and execute it.

So yeah, that comment absolutely reflects the inherent nature of the bullshittery associated with that narrow-minded execution of an otherwise beautiful concept.

(Quick aside: Did you notice two conjugations of “bullshit” into descriptive nouns there? Pretty cool, am I right?)

Anyhow, back to the point: To suggest that I in any way “invited” an unspeakable tragedy into my life — into my family’s life — by using the word “fuck” abundantly?

Complete fucking bullshit.

So gather around, dear blogging friends, as I undertake a brief explanation of my beliefs. I won’t belabor the points here, because they’re fairly basic.

If you sit around all day uttering the words, “I’m going to win the lottery today. I’m going to win the lottery today.” Guess what? The Universe couldn’t care less.

What The Universe does care about, I believe, is the spirit and intention in and through which you reflect a hope — a desire.

A goal.

And by “The Universe” in this sentence, I am not referring to the gaseous-nebulous-ethereal-hazy cosmos surrounding the floating heavenly planets in infinite space.

Nope. I’m referring to “The Universe” surrounding us: The people, experiences and actions we encounter and undertake daily.

If we put out into that Universe that we are going to win the lottery today — through our actions (buying lottery tickets, namely — probably a shit-ton of them, to be honest) and our intentions (being optimistic and open to the idea, which translates to excitement and thus the intentional creation of more opportunities to play and win the lottery) — well, then: You’ll probably have a better chance of winning the lottery than, say, I do.

Because I don’t fucking play the lottery.

Nor do I sit around repeating “I’m going to win the lottery today,” hoping beyond hope that the gaseous-nebulous-ethereal-hazy cosmos surrounding the floating heavenly planets in infinite space hears me and makes it so in some grand, enchantedly supernatural, magically delicious surprise.

But I do think some people (ahem: I’m referring to you, dear commenter) believe that.

Sure: I use the word “fuck.”

A lot.

But that doesn’t mean I approach life like I don’t give a fuck.

Or that I hope to be fucked by the universe.

Or that being fucked over time and again is my fundamental, subconscious or otherwise, goal.

Nope. I use the word “fuck” because I like it.

I think it’s funny. It makes me chuckle.

And it succinctly articulates a variety of concepts, emotions and sentiments, all in one tidy, pint-sized 4-letter package.

So, if you’re following along, the intention behind my words: Humor. Sass. Spirit.

I approach life with humor, sass and spirit. And in turn, I get a lot of humor, sass and spirit back. (Just take a look around at all of you, dear readers. I see you with that sassy, irreverent look on your face. I like you.)

But as with all aspects of The Secret or the Law of Attraction, there are some things in life you can’t expect, you can’t predict, you don’t invite. No matter how good a person you are, no matter how grounded and wise you are, no matter how many bricks you successfully avoid that are lobbed at you — one or two are going to hit.

That’s life.

I am a good person. Inherently, I know without a doubt that I am a good person. I have high morals, integrity and an open-minded, people-oriented, embracing spirit.

And yes, I use the word “fuck.”

A lot.

And no: I do not coo it to my baby like some people might suggest (ahem: I’m referring to you, dear commenter).

But what I do say to my baby — to all three of my amazing children, in fact — is this: Live life with integrity. Live life as an open-minded, people-oriented, embracing spirit. Have high morals.

Be good.

But do this all with humor, sass and spirit. Because too many people take things too seriously, and being “good” can only go so far in life without the humor, sass and spirit to back you up when times get shitty. And they will.

Because when life hands some people a ton of you-can’t-make-this-shit-up moments (this time I’m NOT referring to you, dear commenter)…sometimes all you have left is one word.


So now, Dear Universe (and this time, I’m referring to the people surrounding me. Namely, you. Not the gaseous-nebulous-ethereal-hazy cosmos surrounding the floating heavenly planets in infinite space. Just to be clear):

  1. Your thoughts on my favorite word?
  2. Your interpretation of The Secret or the Law of Attraction?
  3. Your reaction to my measured, nuanced and diplomatic post?

Ok. Non-defensive rant over.

And that felt fucking good. So thank you.

And thank you also for the supportive comments, feedback, and even some reader donations to my annulment/name change/therapy fund over the course of the last few days. You guys astound me.

Now I’m off to utter the words “I’m going to win the lottery today” and hope for some magically delicious surprise from infinite space.