Yeah, Boyfriend Brett totally thought I was naked here. I AM NOT naked. Hands, people – those are my hands. This is so not THAT KIND of blog post...

So I’m about to do something either really super fun – or really super stupid.

And I need your help to make it the former.

Here’s the deal: I’ve always emphasized that I am a prolific writer who blogs — not a prolific blogger who writes. And that’s mostly the case.

Until now.

Because starting today, I’m embarking on a bat-shit crazy ambitious project: The 12 Posts of Christmas.

And today is post #1. Of 12. In a row.

See? Really fun. Right? RIGHT?!?!

(And yeah, I see the irony in the fact that I just bitched and moaned about NaNoWriMo in my previous post. But hey, quantity over quality seems to work for some — why not me?)

These will be dramatically shorter posts than my typical 1,000-, 2,000- or bajillion-plus word fare. Hell, there may be a post or two where pictures outnumber words.

(*Gasp,* right? I know…)

You see, I have all of these ideas about topics or components of posts — yet they’re not exactly deserving of entire posts. For me, anyhow. They’re more like mini-posts. Or postlets. Maybe postlings.



Anyhow, back to the topic at hand.

I want to get these off my chest. I need to get these off my chest — and out of my idea slush pile, which takes the form of one dilapidated spiral bound notebook, a stapled bunch of hand-scribbled notes and an email saved in my Drafts folder overflowing with random words, crazy sentences and perplexing topics.

Seriously. Residing in my Drafts folder is an email containing the words “skeezy pants,” “Battle of the Network Stars” and “windshield wiper interval/penis length.” All in one draft. And in all honesty, I don’t even remember what I wanted to write about two of those three…

I’m a blogging hot mess.

But I desperately want to start the year off de-cluttered, de-junked and de-jizzed. So to speak.

And now it’s your turn.

How can you help, you ask? (Wow. You’re totally thoughtful. Thank you, considerate reader!)

I only ask this: Don’t hate me because I post too often.

Seriously, we’re in the same boat, you and I: Too many messages in our inbox.

Like, WAY too many messages.

(and that's just ONE of my inboxes...)

And I’m hoping you don’t take offense at my dozen musings, my very own brand of effusive blog spunk, which will come (<- did you see where I DIDN’T go there?) furiously exploding all over your inbox during the course of the next two weeks.

This, my friends, will be a one-time (12-part) deal. I’m shooting my wad. And hoping you don’t mind.

Then we’ll go back to posting every two weeks or so. When I don’t have a headache. Like most couples. We can even cuddle and spoon if you’d like.

So to recap, here’s what I’m doing:

  1. 12 posts in 12-ish days (might end up taking weekends off so you don’t get too sick of me) called “The 12 Posts of Christmas.” Some holiday-themed, some not. Then back to business as usual.

Here’s what I’m hoping you do:

  1. Do NOT unsubscribe. Pretty please. I value each and every one of you, and I value your time like crazy — but I’m hoping you’ll bear with me during this experiment. So you must not leave me. PLEASE DON’T LEAVE ME! (Pathetic enough? Did it work?)
  2. Do NOT judge my wee postitos, and certainly don’t compare them to prior or future posts. These are just babies — runts, really — so they need to find a home and GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY LIFE!
  3. Do leave comments. To me, comments are to this blog as the absence of a brick is to my former marriage. Without the brick, there would be no former marriage; without your comments, there would be no this blog. Make sense? Plus, considering my copious commitment and trust issues, your comments provide much-needed affirmation that perhaps you won’t leave me. (Pathetic enough — yet again?)

That’s it. Easy-peasy, right? And to start us off in the right direction, perhaps you can tell me your thoughts on any of the following:

  1. So: Super fun…or super stupid?
  2. Your preference: Postlets, postlings, postitos, weeposts — or do you have an even awesome-er contribution to the word to describe a teeny-weeny post?
  3. Any thoughts on why “windshield wiper interval/penis length” would make for a potential post topic?
  4. What does your idea slush pile look like? Any words/phrases/ideas you’d like to share with us that you haven’t quite gotten around to blogging yet?

One down…11 to go! 😉