Blog
There are a metric ton of blog posts here (I know because I’ve weighed them),
but if you want the Cliff’s Notes version, check this out!
You Have an (Arti)Choke-Hold on My Heart, Valentine
Do you know the core theoretical underpinning of Valentine’s Day? Its very essence can be summed up in three totally dreamy, romantic, dare I say quixotic words: Worst. Puns. Ever. Seriously. If it’s not those little pesky and all perky and pastel-ly conversation...
Wait — How Exactly Did I Get Here Again?
It has been a remarkable few weeks for this blog … and similarly, for me, this adorable little bouncing blog’s proud mommy. (Watch out: It drools. See above.) And while the beginning of the year saw me storing the tree, packing away the lights and stashing the New...
On Broken Penises…and Broken Promises: A Treatise
I spent much of my New Year’s Eve fixing broken penises. By hand. With Super Glue. I shit you not… Of course, there’s a story behind this story — would you expect anything less from me, the girl whose marriage ended with the brick? The girl with the...
An Open “Dear John” Letter (on behalf of jilted ex-spouses everywhere…)
You’ve all heard of a “Dear John” letter, right? Well, while doing research for this blog post, I was fascinated alarmed intrigued disgusted to discover that the iconic letter in which a woman unceremoniously dumps a man probably originated in World War II. I can...
Audacity, thy name is…Carol Anne Riddell and John Partilla
A little bit of a departure here from my personal story … to turn the spotlight onto a juicier, timelier, potentially awesome-r soap opera. This tale is half Westside Story (without the power ballads), half Legends of the Fall (without the sibling power...
The Writing on the Wall…
Upon the advice of my expensive and exceptionally educated attorney, I regret to report that I must cease and desist with my blog effective immediately. . .. ... Nah. Just kidding. Did I get ya? Maybe even just a little bit? Come on now, I hope you know me better...
Didn’t THEY See the Signs?
You know, it occurs to me at this pivotal juncture of my life that the past few years have taught me a valuable lesson: Namely, there is a wrong way — and typically anywhere from one to a shitload of right ways — to approach many of life’s pesky little...
Oh I’m Sorry … Am I Blogging Too Loudly?
You know, it occurs to me that I’ve never been accused of being too loud. Too tall, routinely. Too sarcastic, perhaps (said with an indignant eye roll). Too addicted to Diet Coke, yip that’s me. Too sexy…well, if Right Said Fred was, then I can be, too. But too...
Most Likely to Succeed … at Divorce?!?!
Yip, that’s me on p. 233 of my senior year high school yearbook — a page that has haunted me for nearly 20 years. There I was, sporting a ’do that can best be described as “poofy” and wearing a super giddy, 17-year-old smile because I was actually being ordered to...
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